Wednesday's Word

Do you have a favorite word? Or a word that you tend to use more than others. My word is 'awesome'. I think I use it at least 10 times a day. My husband, children, and grandchildren of course, are awesome. The cinnamon rolls I make are awesome, a friend tells me what happened to her and that’s awesome, I see a video or read I book and then describe those things as awesome.

• Awesome: extremely impressive or daunting;
• inspiring great admiration, apprehension, or fear.
• 
  

As I was going through Psalms I came across this passage in Psalm 47:2 "For the Lord Most High is awesome. He is the great King of all the earth."

As I read I smile when I notice my favorite word! The Lord Most High is indeed totally awesome. I can say that, sing that, and pray that without fear that I’m using the word incorrectly.

God is AWESOME!

God speaks to us in words that can profoundly touch the heart. Stop and listen to His word for you. Pray, read, meditate, and hear what word God lays on your heart this week. Perhaps it’s one that you use all the time but you just need for Him to unveil it in a different way. And He will do that for you, because that’s just how awesome He is!

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Hello, from the other side...

Before taking this photo I contemplated how to make my picture at this monument different from the one I had taken a few months prior. This day I was alone in the city and I walked around it several times to look at it from different angles and decided to take a picture from behind.

It prompted me to think about how important it is to look at a subject from the other side. It is easy to get caught in our point of view and not see it from any other vantage point. At least it is for me...I can't speak for anyone else. My husband is an artist and frequently looks at the world from a unique lens. Can you find him in the picture below?

I remember being a newlywed thinking I can't possibly love my husband more than I do right now and having someone telling me that love only gets sweeter with age.

I remember being a young mom at the grocery store with a baby who needed a nap and an overly curious preschooler who had to touch everything when an older lady told me that these years were precious and that I should cherish them. Seriously, lady? I cherish their nap time so dearly right now and I don't want my baby falling asleep before I get home!

I remember how old I thought I was when I turned 25 and thought the best years of my life are behind me. And now at 54 I can't help but wonder about the joys of life yet to come. I'm thinking about our upcoming trip to visit our son and daughter-in-love in Australia. I'm thinking about seeing our granddaughter and awaiting the birth of the little one in the photo she's holding!

Only God can see all sides. Our view is limited. Our outlook on life is determined by our experiences, our age, our gender, our ethnicity, our education, our spiritual beliefs. Whether we’ve traveled or never left the town where we were born. If we are single, married, have kids at home, or grandchildren. So many factors determine how we process information.

We get into conflicts because we are stuck in our way of thinking believing that we have THE answer for everyone. I see drama play out daily on social media. Someone is offended and vents their frustration at one person or a group of people in order to make themselves feel better, or to just be heard regarding the unfair plight they believe they are experiencing. And the rebuttals come, insults fly back and forth, and people take sides. We see it on every level, individuals, government officials, even Christians chime in with opinions.

Jesus didn’t come into the world to win arguments,

He came into the world to win souls.

Our eternal destiny was and is His major concern.

I stay out of arguments on social media not because I don’t have strong opinions but because from what I’ve seen arguing about it only further entrenches people in their own personal viewpoints. Rarely do we debate someone leading to their conversion to seeing it our way. Frequently it degrades into name calling and insulting everyone who disagrees. Perhaps, because it is so hard to see from any other angle when we are wedged in by our bias.

Throughout the past 13 years of traveling to 12 different countries, and of living for five years in Russia and now seven years in Belize, I’ve grown in the realization that I don’t know everything. God has gotten so much bigger for me than He was 36 years ago when I graduated from high school. I didn’t realize that I had kept God in a little box throughout my childhood and long into my twenties. My political, spiritual, emotional, physical, and financial outlooks have all grown and matured.

When I was younger I was so afraid of being wrong and it took me a long time to form an opinion. I'm not scared anymore but as an introvert, I'm more inclined to spend time thinking, praying, and processing an issue and what I feel I'm being compelled to say or discuss it with a few trusted friends before I express personal opinions in public. (Learning Russian taught me the importance of thinking before speaking and I'm grateful for that!)

While I don't argue online or post controversial comments, I do say what I think on Life Uncommon, the talk show I co-host with my friend Andrea, here in Belize. We tackle issues concerning women on our show and we love to engage with others and hear their thoughts as well. Our goal is to look at things in a different way and empower women to go against the grain of the usual to embrace the extraordinary life that God has called each and every one of us to live.

Life Uncommon airs Tuesdays at 10:30am on PlusTV

We know that we don't have all the answers on our show.
Personally, I don’t think that’s possible for anyone this side of heaven. But, I believe in, trust in, and lean on the One Who does know it all. My prayer is that we can turn down the volume of hatred, discord, and fear. I pray that those who believe in the power of prayer would truly use it to pray for His will alone to be done and not the will of our chosen political parties or favorite motivational speakers.

I pray that each one of us, who are citizens of heaven and not of this world, will stop clinging to what seems right for right now and cling to what IS right and Who will be right for all eternity. That’s the viewpoint I long to see from...how about you?

3 Shades of Vulnerability in Marriage

Being vulnerable is rarely at the top of my list of things to do today. But, there is no path to intimacy that does not involve vulnerability. Personally, I want to be strong. I want to protect myself from embarrassing situations. I want to look good in the eyes of everyone I come in contact with. And yet not one of those things helps me in my goal to connect with others. Especially not my partner.

Tom and I have been together since we were 16 years old. We’ve spent our entire adult lives together. In our 35 years of marriage and two years of dating we’ve discovered a thing or two about each other along the way. And each discovery came with a new level of vulnerability.

Vulnerability is about intimacy. Intimacy comes with exposing our true self to the other person. Being completely known by one person and still being loved by them is a blessing.

Vulnerability is about integrity. Integrity is when our beliefs, actions, and words all match up. When we are truly honest with ourselves and with our loved ones we honor them with integrity.

Vulnerability is about initiative. Being the first to speak up or act instead of holding back in fear. Being the first to say, “I’m sorry” or “I love you” can be overwhelming but with risk comes the reward of being true to yourself and your feelings.

Not long ago we attended a wedding for a young couple.

I don’t know about you but each time I attend a wedding it takes me back to my own. I didn’t know what I was getting into. We had no idea on that day what life would have in store for us going forward.

I didn’t make a copy of what I wrote in their card but it was something about always remembering to turn toward one another and not away from one another.

Tom and I have had to learn the importance of turning toward one another even when life is difficult.

We had to seek out counsel from others for guidance through those times when we wanted to turn away from one another.

We’ve had to struggle through the times of wanting to turn against one another.

Admitting that there is an issue that demands to be faced can be hard. Counseling seems to be a four letter word in some people’s ears and hearts. Or maybe the dirty word is actually W-O-R-K. Love is not supposed to be work according to Hollywood. According to the movies or romance novels when you fall in love everything in your life is supposed to magically fall into place and your ‘happily ever after’ begins with that first kiss. Well, wouldn’t that be lovely?

The reality is that long-term love requires hard work. Long-term love is golden because it has been forged in the crucible of determination, respect, and commitment. I like seeing young love but I admire and value old love. Old love isn’t phased by moods or circumstances. It knows that like waves on the shore times of adversity are a natural part of the rhythm of life. Dissonance adds depth to music because when the tension creating chords are resolved we find peace and beauty in the song.

Turning towards one another requires us to be connected with one another. Connection means we must be willing to seek out intimacy, value integrity, and take the initiative needed to do whatever is necessary to allow your relationship to grow deeper and sweeter with time. And as you look back over the moments of your life together take time to notice the golden cord of vulnerability and treat it with care day after day and year after year.  

Created, Chosen, and Called for a Purpose

Your thumbprint testifies that you are a one-of-a-kind human being. Have you ever celebrated your uniqueness? Or have you doubted it? Or maybe feared it? Or felt alone because of it?

Psalm 139 is one of my absolute favorite passages. Probably because it reminds me that we are wonderfully complex individuals. I get excited pondering how David was compelled to praise God in verse 14 saying, “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” God’s workmanship is us! And we should give praise to Him for the incredible, marvelous, complex way we are designed.

Treasuring ourselves is so difficult. If you’re like me you may have been taught to be humble. To let others sing your praises.

But, what happens when you go unnoticed

and feel unloved and invisible for too long?

How do you practice valuing yourself when no one seems to notice who you are? Our brains are wired for connection with others. We care more deeply about what others think than what we think at times. Belonging is one of the core desires of our soul. We long to feel wanted. To feel a part of the club.

Some of us struggle with the idea of standing out

because we so desperately desire to fit in.

@alidasharpmusic

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Even in the dailiness of life we aim for alikeness, doing the exact same thing day after day, work, school, Instagram, Facebook, emails, eat, sleep, repeat. The routine of life seems daunting at times. And it’s stressful to the mind. Facebook makes us envious, Instagram makes us hungry, and email keeps us working long hours. But our Designer handcrafted us for a greater purpose. A more unique purpose. My friend and music producer, Mervin Budram MD, says that “Knowing your identity is very important, however, knowing your life purpose is equally important as it charts out the road you're to take on this journey through life.”

In fact Merv feels so strongly about our purpose in life that he wrote a song about it.

And his song got me to thinking more about my purpose so I decided I needed to spend some time meditating on the word ‘purpose.’ I believe that we will comprehend the real meaning of our role on this planet when we recognize and embrace the purpose for which we were created, chosen, and called to fulfill. We will honor God in all that we do, bring Him glory through embracing all that we are created to be, when we wholeheartedly engage in living out our purpose.

We are Created for a Purpose

When we lived in Russia I crocheted quite a bit. I’m out of practice now but while we were in a colder climate I regularly made hats, scarves, and even sweaters. Each item I created was carefully planned. I made things to go with an outfit in mind, or a special event coming up, or as a gift. Each masterpiece had an intended purpose. In Ephesians 2:10 we read that each individual is a masterpiece of God, created anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things that He has planned for us. We were created with His purpose for us in mind.

We are Chosen for a Purpose

I’ve heard many people quote the passage about us being a chosen people from 1 Peter 2:9. It goes on to say, “You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.” Because of who we are in Christ we are chosen to show others the goodness of God! Our lives when lived according to His plan glorifies and praises Him. What an incredible reason to live life to fullest and use each gift He graciously crafted within us.

We are Called for a Purpose

Often a look at Romans 8:28 is about trying to make sense of the painful and chaotic things that happen in life. I first heard this passage when we were grieving the stillbirth of our first child. (And just for the record that is not a good scripture to quote for someone who has just lost a baby.)

As we try to find light in the darkness of our lives we want some good to come out of the trial we are facing. And yet, I believe the last part of the verse is what reveals the priceless treasure in the passage. “Those who love God and are called according to His purpose”...that brings my struggles into perspective. I don’t have to worry or fret, or scheme or plan, He will make sense of it all because it’s a part of my calling. Because my calling is according to His purpose He will never waste a hurt or a trial that I face. He will use it to encourage, strengthen, inspire, or embolden someone else.

Our lives are our testimony of the grace, hope, and mercy of God.

Our lives have meaning and purpose

beyond what we can see.

We are created, chosen, and called for a purpose. @alidasharpmusic 

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Live life to the fullest. Live life with joy. Life your life knowing that you were born on purpose for a purpose!

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Finding Beauty in the Wounds of Adversity

“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.” ― David Richo

My wounds opened the door to writing my first song. Discovering the joy of songwriting at the age of 50 came as a shock. A pleasant shock. I’ve put some of my journal pages into song. But, not all.

Some are too raw and too ugly to turn into melody. But, some stand as a testimony to love, or a way to voice personal grief or to speak out on an issue I feel passionately about. And there are times when I think no one else can understand what I'm going through or what I've been through. In recovery circles this is called "terminal uniqueness".

It's a deadly disease to believe that our problems and situation are beyond anyone else's comprehension.

Despair that comes with believing that our problems are so great that no one else can relate to them can be fatal.

Someone has been there.

Someone has felt that.

Someone has had that experience imprinted on the t-shirt of their soul.

I'm grateful for the times when God reminds me of the wisdom of my elders. This quote is from a conversation I had with my Auntie Martha several years ago:

"A mother's heart is built for adversity."

I'm not able to speak about the heart of a father. But in my heart as a mother I have experienced this adversity being forged into me. The potential for heartache begins with a positive pregnancy test. Doctors try to pinpoint the date of conception so that they will have a better understanding of when the child will be born and assess fetal development.

Who can determine the moment that a mother is conceived?

I have come to believe that the

conception of a mother

occurs the instant she becomes aware

of the existence of her child.

For some that comes with a missed period, for some with the first symptoms of pregnancy, for others when the heartbeat is heard or flutters of life are felt within.

I remember going from shock to anxiety when I discovered my first child was on the way. I learned in that moment that it was suspected to be an ectopic pregnancy only to be told later that the pregnancy was indeed normal but it looked as if I was in the process of a miscarriage. I was sent home for bedrest and the pregnancy proceeded.  

I suffered a tormenting flood of 'what ifs' in my head. What if I'm not a good mother? What if my child has a birth defect? What if my husband loses his job? What if....?

I've learned that for every question
I have God whispers,

"Trust me."

I don't always acknowledge His whispers. Sometimes I’ve treated His voice like a bee dive-bombing near my ear. I want to swipe it away and go back to worrying. I know how to worry.

Peace on the other hand has to be learned and practiced.

As God builds the heart of a mother He places within it a cavern of love to share with each child. He gives us joy over their coos as babies, thrills when they learn to walk, tears when they fall down and run to us with scraped knees, and comfort for when they make choices that don't match up with our hopes and dreams for them.

No mother is ever fully prepared

for that first jolt of adversity.

But, each time her heart is stretched in small ways it begins to grow to the capacity needed.

Just as the womb of each woman enlarges to hold whatever size her baby is, so does the heart expand to handle whatever comes its way.

Mothers feel that expansion of the heart as keenly as a labor pain.

In fact, it feels more like a crack in the soul when reality falls short of dreams and expectations.

I wonder what Mary felt as she pondered
all of the experiences of Christ's life
as she watched him hang on the cross?

Did she look on his wounds and cry out to God with her questions?

She's a mother who reminds me that I have no control over the life altering situations that my children may have to face. God gave her only of glimpse of what her child was destined for but He didn't give her the full printout of His life.

As my oldest child inches toward 30 I have pondered many memories of what was. And as my youngest and his wife await the birth of their second child my heart expands with thoughts of what might be. The reality of now compels me to accept what is.

The stillbirths and miscarriage I’ve endured gave me a deep sense of compassion for my mother's heartache when my younger brother died. I had months of memories while she had decades to look back on.

I am challenged with the task to 'woman up' and face whatever God allows in my life so that I can grow into the person he wants me to be.

Instead of perseverating on dark thoughts I must surrender them to the light of Christ. I must let go and lean into His embrace.  All the broken bits and pieces of my life, each fragment, when placed at the feet of Christ will come together as a whole.

At the beginning of this year my desire was to bring hope and healing to the hurting. I understand that it starts with me.

I cannot offer what I do not have to give.

I cannot be strong for someone else if I am weak. I cannot offer peace to someone when I am staggering down the road of uncertainty.

I’ve found a hope this year that serves as an anchor to my soul. I’ve found the path to healing that I'm slowly treading down. I found the hurts of the past have molded and shaped my life and brought about much needed empathy and compassion.

There are still some open wounds that are slow to close. There are still a few areas of my life that are not yet ready to be offered up for public consumption. But, I’m seeing many things in a new light. I’m seeing beauty at this point in the journey. I remember when I was running the End of the World Half Marathon a few years ago. There were a few places along the route that offered up breathtaking views of the Caribbean. There were birds to see and butterflies and gorgeous homes along the way. But, it was still a 13.1 mile race. It was not a sprint.

Life is not a sprint.

And it is the beauty of God's grace that gives us marvels and wonders along the path of life. And for His grace and His ability to use our wounds to open up beautiful spaces in our lives...I am indeed grateful!

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