Lessons Learned From Looking Back

“Forty is the

old age of youth,

fifty is the

youth of old age.”

These words of Victor Hugo came to mind today as I was working on a new song for a Christmas project.

Each time I step up to the microphone I realize I’m no longer a skinny little 10 year old standing in front of the mirror singing into a hairbrush.

Childhood fantasies become realities

when you jump at opportunities.

I wrote my first song at age 50 after crying out to God in despair. My children’s childhoods had officially come to an end. Both are now adults making their own choices and living out their own dreams. The time had come for me to find my way back to mine.

Being in the youth of old age means that I can look ahead and know that the time is short. And at the same time I can look back and benefit from lessons that only experience can teach.

The benefit of looking back is found in a few of the lessons learned along the way.

1. Life is short, it’s up to you to make it sweet.

Each one of us is responsible for our own lives. God has a plan and a path for each one of us. There are times when He will use someone else to open a door or provide a helping hand. But, He expects each one of His children to pick up their own spoon and taste Him for themselves. My husband’s favorite baked treat is cinnamon rolls but mine is sweet potato pie. If I eat from his plate I’m not getting the sweetness I crave, I have to accept what he’s chosen.

2. Life is hard, but God is good.

The New Testament makes it clear that we will have troubles in this world. But, we can take heart and have the courage to face whatever comes our way because Jesus overcame every weight that has the power to hold us back from the life God designed for us.

3. Life is not a competition, it’s about connection.

Each one of us has our own race to run. Social media causes us to criticize, compete & compare. We have a tendency to compare our worst to someone else’s best. All of those activities are distractions that can lead us to veer out of our own lane. We must connect with what God has gifted us to do and not with someone else’s calling.

I wrote a song last year that I thought would be perfect for this Christmas project I’m currently working on with my friend Mervin. He writes songs that get people to jump up and down. I confess that I have compared myself to him. I even tried to put together a song similar to his style but I fell short. My husband listened to it and didn’t get it. It wasn’t me and I had to let it go.

I have a new song coming out near the end of the month. It’s a reggae worship song. I remember telling a dj about it and she said, “sometimes you want to move from side to side instead of jump up and down”. Since that conversation I've noticed that each time I’ve performed the reggae song I see people swaying side to side! Her words opened my eyes.

Serving God should not be a competition.

If we connect with God, with ourselves, and with others, we can all move forward in cooperation with one another.

Mervin and I both have goals of pointing others to God. And we’ll be more successful in reaching our goals through connecting and cooperating with one another.

I’m grateful for the lessons He’s given to me. What lessons have you learned from Him?

Created, Chosen, and Called for a Purpose

Your thumbprint testifies that you are a one-of-a-kind human being. Have you ever celebrated your uniqueness? Or have you doubted it? Or maybe feared it? Or felt alone because of it?

Psalm 139 is one of my absolute favorite passages. Probably because it reminds me that we are wonderfully complex individuals. I get excited pondering how David was compelled to praise God in verse 14 saying, “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” God’s workmanship is us! And we should give praise to Him for the incredible, marvelous, complex way we are designed.

Treasuring ourselves is so difficult. If you’re like me you may have been taught to be humble. To let others sing your praises.

But, what happens when you go unnoticed

and feel unloved and invisible for too long?

How do you practice valuing yourself when no one seems to notice who you are? Our brains are wired for connection with others. We care more deeply about what others think than what we think at times. Belonging is one of the core desires of our soul. We long to feel wanted. To feel a part of the club.

Some of us struggle with the idea of standing out

because we so desperately desire to fit in.

@alidasharpmusic

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Even in the dailiness of life we aim for alikeness, doing the exact same thing day after day, work, school, Instagram, Facebook, emails, eat, sleep, repeat. The routine of life seems daunting at times. And it’s stressful to the mind. Facebook makes us envious, Instagram makes us hungry, and email keeps us working long hours. But our Designer handcrafted us for a greater purpose. A more unique purpose. My friend and music producer, Mervin Budram MD, says that “Knowing your identity is very important, however, knowing your life purpose is equally important as it charts out the road you're to take on this journey through life.”

In fact Merv feels so strongly about our purpose in life that he wrote a song about it.

And his song got me to thinking more about my purpose so I decided I needed to spend some time meditating on the word ‘purpose.’ I believe that we will comprehend the real meaning of our role on this planet when we recognize and embrace the purpose for which we were created, chosen, and called to fulfill. We will honor God in all that we do, bring Him glory through embracing all that we are created to be, when we wholeheartedly engage in living out our purpose.

We are Created for a Purpose

When we lived in Russia I crocheted quite a bit. I’m out of practice now but while we were in a colder climate I regularly made hats, scarves, and even sweaters. Each item I created was carefully planned. I made things to go with an outfit in mind, or a special event coming up, or as a gift. Each masterpiece had an intended purpose. In Ephesians 2:10 we read that each individual is a masterpiece of God, created anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things that He has planned for us. We were created with His purpose for us in mind.

We are Chosen for a Purpose

I’ve heard many people quote the passage about us being a chosen people from 1 Peter 2:9. It goes on to say, “You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.” Because of who we are in Christ we are chosen to show others the goodness of God! Our lives when lived according to His plan glorifies and praises Him. What an incredible reason to live life to fullest and use each gift He graciously crafted within us.

We are Called for a Purpose

Often a look at Romans 8:28 is about trying to make sense of the painful and chaotic things that happen in life. I first heard this passage when we were grieving the stillbirth of our first child. (And just for the record that is not a good scripture to quote for someone who has just lost a baby.)

As we try to find light in the darkness of our lives we want some good to come out of the trial we are facing. And yet, I believe the last part of the verse is what reveals the priceless treasure in the passage. “Those who love God and are called according to His purpose”...that brings my struggles into perspective. I don’t have to worry or fret, or scheme or plan, He will make sense of it all because it’s a part of my calling. Because my calling is according to His purpose He will never waste a hurt or a trial that I face. He will use it to encourage, strengthen, inspire, or embolden someone else.

Our lives are our testimony of the grace, hope, and mercy of God.

Our lives have meaning and purpose

beyond what we can see.

We are created, chosen, and called for a purpose. @alidasharpmusic 

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Live life to the fullest. Live life with joy. Life your life knowing that you were born on purpose for a purpose!

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10 Reasons I Sing

Why sing? As I was reading through the Psalms I noticed the phrase 'I will sing.' As I compiled a list of verses that stood out for me they provoked me to ponder the words of an old song, “I sing because I’m happy and I sing because I’m free. His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.” I love to sing whether anyone else hears me or not, whether anyone chooses to sing along or not, I sing when I'm sad, I sing when I feel overjoyed.

And though I have many reasons to sing

they all basically fall into three categories;

to respond to God,

to recall what He has done,

and to reflect His glory.

Here are 10 reasons why I will sing His praises until my final breath:

1. Psalm 7:17    To praise Him because He is just
2. Psalm 9:2       To praise Him for filling me with joy
3. Psalm 13:6     To praise Him for His goodness
4. Psalm 40:3     To praise Him with new songs
5. Psalm 57:9     To praise Him for His forgiveness
6. Psalm 59:16   To praise Him for His power
7. Psalm 59:16   To praise Him for His unfailing love
8. Psalm 69:30   To praise His name
9. Psalm 75:9     To praise Him for His actions

 10. Psalm 104:33 To praise Him for life

There are some songs that I sing during quiet times alone with God. Just as I pray in the spirit, I also have times when I sing in the spirit. With candles lit and just the voice I cry out to Him in song.

As I lift my voice in praise I’m not worried about the notes, or what words may come. I simply repeat whatever I hear Him saying to me. Last week, after Tom had gone to bed. I got up because I couldn’t sleep. Whenever that happens I grab my bible, light some candles to avoid the harshness of the overhead lamp, and I pray. During the day I had been studying the name Yahweh. So I started reading through some of the verses I had studied earlier. I read Exodus 33:19 that God told Moses that He would pass in front of him and call out His own name.

This short video is the song that I heard God singing to me as I was seeking His face on that quiet dark night.

I'm in awe of how God chooses to reveal Himself to us. I love to sing and I love it when He writes the words of the songs. So for as long as I am alive, at all times, in every season and stage of life, God is worthy of praise, and I have a reason to sing.

Do you sing? I’d love to hear your reasons!

Hurting Heart

The Bible says to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. Back in 1999 my younger brother Bruce was mortally injured in an accident that crushed him between two vehicles. My family and I were told that he experienced no physical pain as he lay trapped in a coma in that hospital bed. And yet, I distinctly felt in my soul that he was in spiritual pain.

To be present with the Lord would be a joy, a comfort, a place of complete rest. Seeing him held hostage in a brain-dead body looked and felt like torture to me.

The obtrusive machines sustaining his life pointed out that he was not even in control of his own breath. Yes, I would have loved to witness the miracle of him rising from that bed to go on to live a full and complete life. What a testament to the power of God that would have been! His tragic death changed me as a person. It changed our family. It impacted the trajectory of my spiritual life. It caused me to reevaluate priorities. It compelled me to face the fact that life is not to be taken for granted.

Life is a gift. A fragile piece of artwork to be cherished.

With each milestone worthy of celebration I long for his presence. Recently as my siblings and I gathered to commemorate our parents’ 60th wedding anniversary his absence was palpably felt. Beholding my three remaining brothers with their wives and chatting over childhood memories I longed for Bruce to have experienced that moment with us.

As I contemplated my most intimate losses I considered the stillbirth of my first child, Patricia Kaye. I could hardly bear to  dwell on her brief life and the fact that a second stillbirth, our first son, Cameron Preston, followed ten short months later. Grieving my brother dredged up each memory.

Each loss was dissected, evaluated, weighed, and processed in my heart and in my journal.

I ripped out and burned journal pages, spilling out rage, hurt, and the rawness of my heart until I could not face it anymore. I made an appointment with a grief counselor and began to work on healing. Angry at the past, devastated by God, and yet trying hard to hold on to reality so as to be able to care for my children, my husband, and our home, my body was exhausted and filled with pain. My home and my heart were cluttered.

I couldn’t let go of my emotional hurts and I could not let go of items that were littering my home.  I longed for relief. A clean house seemed impossible and a clear head even more so. A few months after Bruce’s death I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.

No longer localized as heartache from mourning, pain was ravaging my body and affecting the quality of my life.

Through therapy I realized that I was existing under a lifetime of burdens. I finally pinpointed the day that I was no longer allowed to unashamedly display emotion. It was at that moment that my childhood officially ended.

I was playing Barbie dolls with a friend. I thought I was being good. My schoolwork was done and my chores were complete. I didn’t invite Tracey inside because my parents were gone to visit my grandfather at the hospital. We were playing on the porch when my father arrived home visibly upset. I had no idea what I had done wrong. The first thing he said was that my friend had to go home and I had to come inside. We put away the dolls and she ran off. I timidly entered the house not knowing what was coming next.

His words are forever seared into my brain.

“Your PawPaw’s dead. And don’t you cry cause your Mama needs you!”

I don’t believe his intent was that I could never show emotion over my grandfather’s death. I believe he was simply asking me to help out with my little brothers. I think it was an attempt to lighten her load after losing her father. He could not have known that I would carry those words for the rest of my life. From that point on public tears of grief or sadness felt wrong but I didn’t fully understand why. Even when tears were appropriate to situations I faced as an adult, my brain clung to the instruction I’d heard at 12 years old, “Don’t you cry”.  

At age 50, I put all of the grief, hurt, and pain into a song. A song I’ve recorded, performed once, and have been unable to do again. Just like singing at Bruce’s funeral it emptied me of strength and reduced me to tears that took days to get under control.

Click on the arrow to listen

Healing came in stages. Rolling in and out like waves hitting tide pools found at the shoreline before high tide. As the tide wanes life is revealed and precious wonders within are free to be explored. I understand that the importance and the impact of words spoken to us and by us should never be underestimated. Emotions need to be expressed.

Even Jesus cried over the death of his friend Lazarus. Jesus knew he could and would raise Lazarus from the dead and yet he cried. Jesus wept.

I see that scripture acknowledges emotions and therefore so should I. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. Weeping may remain for a night but joy comes in the morning. I can testify that sometimes the nights of weeping stretch into decades when you don’t fully give yourself permission to heal. The morning is a long ways off for those of us who cannot weep in community.


I have the right to experience anointed times of weeping, mourning, and wailing with safe people unencumbered with shame. I have the right to feel my feelings. And I would advise others to feel their feelings to the fullest. To learn from them, to let tears fall nurturing new growth from within, and then to stand up and boldly move on towards healing!

Written In His Scars

All scars tell a story. I have scars on my body from falling, from surgery, from giving birth. Our scars may tell of mistakes, trials, joys, or heartaches. The scars of Christ tell a story of a Savior who took on the weight of humanity's sin and the pain of death. A Savior Who suffered to bring us into fellowship with God the Father. The hope, the joy, the victory we have as believers are all because of the redemption, salvation, and restoration that were written in the scars of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord. I'm grateful for His Resurrection and for all that's written in His scars!

God Is With Us

Each time I write a song I see it as a gift from God. I feel as though He guides me and uses me in the way Mother Teresa describes...like a pencil in His hand.

At all times, in every season, God is with us. He will never leave or forsake us. He walks with us in the valleys and on the mountain tops. He is there when even when we cannot feel His presence. He never sleeps and never gets tired. He will strengthen us and help us. Nothing can ever separate us from His love. He is God. He is here. He is with us.


I'm so grateful to Paul Flores of Studio A, the executive producer, on this project, to Mervin Budram-MD of Roots and Honor Records, the producer, to Yoelvis Medero Lunar of Allegro Music School, to Melanie Flores, Bethany Godoy, Chanelle Parks, and to the Belmopan Childrens Choir for bringing this song to life.

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I pray that this songs ministers to you and if you want to sing along...here are the words!

God Is With Us
Hope was born in a manger
Light came in to the world
Born to die for redemption
Angelic wings unfurl
A heavenly choir broke the silence
To welcome our newborn Lord
Hope was born in a manger
Our Savior, Redeemer, our Joy.

God is with us
God is with us
Immanuel our joy!
God is with us
God is with us
Immanuel our Lord.

It was a night filled with wonder
It was a night full of grace.
In awe we bow low before Him
With reverence we seek His face.
His mother ponders the moment
His Father looks down with Love
It was a night filled with wonder.
Showered with grace from above.

Hope was born in the silence
Light was born in darkness
Immanuel has come
Immanuel has come!