Lessons Learned From Looking Back

“Forty is the

old age of youth,

fifty is the

youth of old age.”

These words of Victor Hugo came to mind today as I was working on a new song for a Christmas project.

Each time I step up to the microphone I realize I’m no longer a skinny little 10 year old standing in front of the mirror singing into a hairbrush.

Childhood fantasies become realities

when you jump at opportunities.

I wrote my first song at age 50 after crying out to God in despair. My children’s childhoods had officially come to an end. Both are now adults making their own choices and living out their own dreams. The time had come for me to find my way back to mine.

Being in the youth of old age means that I can look ahead and know that the time is short. And at the same time I can look back and benefit from lessons that only experience can teach.

The benefit of looking back is found in a few of the lessons learned along the way.

1. Life is short, it’s up to you to make it sweet.

Each one of us is responsible for our own lives. God has a plan and a path for each one of us. There are times when He will use someone else to open a door or provide a helping hand. But, He expects each one of His children to pick up their own spoon and taste Him for themselves. My husband’s favorite baked treat is cinnamon rolls but mine is sweet potato pie. If I eat from his plate I’m not getting the sweetness I crave, I have to accept what he’s chosen.

2. Life is hard, but God is good.

The New Testament makes it clear that we will have troubles in this world. But, we can take heart and have the courage to face whatever comes our way because Jesus overcame every weight that has the power to hold us back from the life God designed for us.

3. Life is not a competition, it’s about connection.

Each one of us has our own race to run. Social media causes us to criticize, compete & compare. We have a tendency to compare our worst to someone else’s best. All of those activities are distractions that can lead us to veer out of our own lane. We must connect with what God has gifted us to do and not with someone else’s calling.

I wrote a song last year that I thought would be perfect for this Christmas project I’m currently working on with my friend Mervin. He writes songs that get people to jump up and down. I confess that I have compared myself to him. I even tried to put together a song similar to his style but I fell short. My husband listened to it and didn’t get it. It wasn’t me and I had to let it go.

I have a new song coming out near the end of the month. It’s a reggae worship song. I remember telling a dj about it and she said, “sometimes you want to move from side to side instead of jump up and down”. Since that conversation I've noticed that each time I’ve performed the reggae song I see people swaying side to side! Her words opened my eyes.

Serving God should not be a competition.

If we connect with God, with ourselves, and with others, we can all move forward in cooperation with one another.

Mervin and I both have goals of pointing others to God. And we’ll be more successful in reaching our goals through connecting and cooperating with one another.

I’m grateful for the lessons He’s given to me. What lessons have you learned from Him?

BLESSED

Blessed is WHO you are...walk in that!

Life Uncommon

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Life Lessons On the Run

Discovering the depths of your inner strength comes from attempting that which you absolutely cannot do in your own power.

Three years ago I had a friend challenge me to walk for 30 minutes a day for 100 days. I met that challenge.

Earlier this year I had a friend challenge me to run a half marathon. Last Sunday I was able to meet that challenge as well!

I had three goals going into the half marathon; to run the entire way, to finish the race, and to not come in last! I met each one of my goals. I even finished in 3rd place for my age group! I learned a great deal about myself as I trained for the race. And I learned even more during the race itself. Here are just a few of my lessons on the run!

Lesson 1: Appreciate the wisdom of others. 

I learned from others that I needed to eat a light breakfast, stay hydrated, and that it would all work out in the end because I would find the strength to finish. Do you listen to others? Or do you try to strike out on your own and have all the answers for yourself. Mentors, teachers, and good friends with experience have a lot to offer us if we're willing to listen. We can learn from their mistakes and we can benefit from the lessons they've learned. Perhaps our experience won't be exactly like theirs but we can take what works and use it to give ourselves the best possible outcome for our situation.


Lesson 2: Run your own race.

My friend Dennis told me that people would take off really fast from the starting line. He cautioned me not to get caught up in that frenzy. He told me to keep a steady pace and I would see some of those who'd taken off so quickly dropping back or falling out along the way. He was right. Choosing to keep a constant pace enabled me to run the entire course. Think about how that relates to our real life. Go at your own pace. Don't get caught up trying to have what someone else has or do what others are doing.  You can't fulfill your destiny trying to run someone else's race. Your goals, your purpose, your success will only come from working with the gifts you've been given.

Lesson 3: Motivation comes from within. 

Positive self talk is vital for the long haul. I had to talk myself through each mile, each curve, and on to the end of the course. I prayed, I sang, I talked to myself. I reminded myself of motivational quotes and scriptures. My friend Dee Dee told me that after mile 9 it's all mental. And she's right. I knew that my body was capable of going 10.4 miles because that had been my longest distance before the race began. I knew I was going to have to talk myself through the last 2.7 miles to be able to finish the course. I remembered that my friend Kaylon told me that I needed to breathe and take one goal at time. With each breath I centered myself. Asking God for strength. Praising Him for how our bodies are designed. At each water station I would encourage myself to get to the next one. I knew I needed to reach Maya Beach, then Seine Bight and so on. Every now and then I would remind myself of the goal to "get to the airport" because after the airport there would only be two more miles to go. Do you need to remember to breathe and break your task down into manageable pieces? Learning to lift yourself up with your thoughts and words will help you make it through the toughest undertakings in life.

Lesson 4: You are not alone.

There were points along the race when I felt alone and isolated from everyone else. I didn't see other runners out there for long stretches. I would hear cheers coming from the next water station or sometimes I heard footsteps behind me. And even though I knew that there were other people running I felt like I was the only one out there. It may have been true that I was physically on my own. But, looking back I know that God was with me. Just when I needed to know how far I'd gone a sign would appear. Right when I needed a boost someone would drive by and honk and yell out "you're doing great!" As I passed through Seine Bight someone screamed, "Go, Alida, go!" What a rush! I found out later it was someone I'd met once four years ago. I felt like God gave me that special gift just when I needed it most. Have you ever felt alone? Do you feel that way right now? Have you ever gotten those little boosts of encouragement from God just at the right moment? You are never truly alone if you have Him in your life!

Lesson Five: What began in the dark will end in the light!

I was picked up for the race shortly after 4am. The start time was 5:30am. It was dark out there. Not one street light. Just headlights from vehicles and headlamps worn by some of the experienced runners. It felt like a Hunger Games moment being told to walk over to the where the lights were to get to the starting line. I had no idea where I was and how long it would be before the sun came out. I ran in the dark for a half hour or so. As the sun rose and light filled the sky I was able to take in the beauty of the Caribbean sea, hear the songs of birds, appreciate the cool air, and the flat terrain of the course. Maybe you're going through a dark time right now and it feels like the light will never come. But, remember, that we have a Light that we can follow. He will illuminate our path with His Word and give our feet guidance. Lift up your head. The Son has risen and the Light is here for you!

I know that not everyone is crazy enough to run a half marathon. But, there are goals or dreams that each one of us have that seem out of reach. Are you thinking of going back to finish your education? Are you wanting to get a better job? Are you praying about going on the mission field? No matter what obstacle, life challenge, or dream you have in front of you, though it may seem crazy right now it is possible to move forward toward whatever God is calling you to do. Be open to His voice. And let His lessons help you in this race called life!

Praying for Lolita

Last week I had the opportunity to give my testimony regarding sexual abuse to the 320 female students at San Pedro High School on Ambergris Caye here in Belize.

That was the largest audience I've ever told that story to. Afterwards there were those who came up and briefly shared their stories with me.


I knew there would be some who would identify...statistics say that 1 in every 4 girls has been abused.

No matter where we have been in the world there have always been girls and women who share my story. And that breaks my heart.

Here in Belize we've also come across young teens and preteens who've been exploited by older men. I had been told that this is also an issue out there on the beautiful island where the high school is located.






Thinking about abuse and exploitation reminded me of this passage:

Excerpt from Lolita,
 by Vladimir Nabokov                         

"I'll die if you touch me," I said.  "You are sure you are not coming with me?  Is there no hope of your coming?  Tell me only this."

"No," she said.  "No, honey, no.

She had never called me honey before.

"No," she said, "it is quite out of the question.  I would sooner go back to Cue.  I mean-" She groped for words.  I supplied them mentally ("He broke my heart. You merely broke my life").

                                                                     

Honestly, it took me years to decide to read this book. Other books by Nabokov are not so difficult to read. Knowing that this book is about a middle aged man and his relationship with a 12 year old girl turned my stomach. As an abuse survivor, I didn't think I had the strength to make it through a book like this. I read it while we still lived in Russia. It was a difficult read. It broke my heart. It moved me to tears. It made me angry.

Vladimir Nabokov is quoted as saying:

Some people, and I am one of them, hate happy ends.
We feel cheated.  Harm is the norm.

This is so distressing to me.  Harm should never be the norm.

But, sometimes it is. Each week, here in Belize and all around the world, there are children and teens whose lives, hearts and spirits have been broken. Some of them are brought to their knees by their life circumstances. Others were abused or mistreated by someone who was supposed to care for them. These dear ones often struggle to conceive of a Power great enough to mend their lives, heal their hearts, replenish their spirits and redeem all of the suffering they have faced.

I wholeheartedly believe that healing can begin with a whispered prayer 
that calls to The Light, the God of All Comfort, our Healer and Redeemer.

Join with me in prayer for those who are still victims.

And please, please, remember the Lolitas of the world.  

Behind the makeup and the smile

Behind the makeup and the smile what is really there?  There are days when I have a smile on face but my heart is heavy.  Proverbs 13:14 assures me that I am not the only one who does this.

At the Child Development Foundation I work with girls and women who've been abused and exploited in some fashion. And one of the myths about those who are being prostituted is that "they enjoy it or they wouldn't do it".  I cannot imagine anyone who would take delight in being used, violated, and demeaned day after day.  A woman being sexually exploited may be the one smiling and laughing to court her customers but that doesn't mean that she is not torn up and grieving her situation in life.

Even in laughter the heart may ache,
and rejoicing may end in grief.
Proverbs 13:14

The clown in the photo is standing in front of the Eiffel Tower.  She seemed to be happy.  I sure was happy and absolutely filled with gratitude for each and every moment of our time in Paris.  I didn't ask this street performer if she was genuinely happy.  But, never again will I assume that a smile and a laugh are sign of a joy-filled life.

May we let go of whatever mask we are wearing...
and may we find wholeness and compassion in Him.
And may those being exploited discover a way of escape
and find safety and comfort in His loving arms.

Hallelujah Anyhow!

Have you ever had to pray and praise your way through a hard time?

That's what Paul and Silas teach us to do in Acts 16:16-26.

In fact their worship time was so strong it caused an earthquake powerful enough to open the doors and make everyone's shackles fall off!







Today I'm speaking at a worship workshop and my topic is:

Broken Along the Way

As I was preparing my notes a song that my Aunt Betty used to sing back in the day at our little church in Wichita, Kansas came to mind. It's called 'Hallelujah Anyhow'. I believe that God is able to redeem our circumstances. He can replace our doubts, fears, and frustrations with love, compassion, and gratitude, And He can refine us by polishing our rough edges to make us shine like stars in the darkness so that we reflect His glory. I'm still working on praying and praising my way through pain and heartache. And this lesson from Paul and Silas and this song are helping me along this path.

Give it a listen clicking below...I hope it inspires you as much as it does me!

Life Lessons from Women in the Lineage of Christ:

Life Lesson #1 from Tamar: What Are You Willing to Risk?

Life Lesson #2 from Rahab: Who Needs to Hear Your Testimony

Life Lesson #3 from Bathsheba: It's Not How You Start it's How You Finish




Life Lesson #4 From Mary: I Woke Up Like This!