A Call To Prayer

Daily the headlines are filled with so many reasons to pray. Fires, earthquakes, hurricanes, exploitation, corruption, death, destruction.

No matter where we are located around the world, there is a pressing concern for all who live in those areas.

There are times when my brain acts like a jukebox flipping through a catalog of songs. It settled on this oldie from my childhood:

In times like these you need a Savior,

In times like these you need an anchor;

Be very sure, be very sure,

Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock!

Hope in Christ is a solid anchor when life is unbearable and tragedy inevitable.

Looking around breeds despair over our current situation, looking down keeps us chained to the anxiety growing in our hearts, but looking up anchors our souls to heaven.

Scanning world news late last night I found that in the Democratic Republic of the Congo nine out of ten villages have been burnt down in attacks and hundreds of children have been separated from their families or witnessed their murders.

I read that Hurricane Irma has wreaked havoc in the Caribbean. Damaging or destroying an estimated 90 percent of the structures on the island of Barbuda, home to about 1,400 people. And tragically a 2-year-old child was swept to his death after the storm ripped the roof off the family's house.

An update from Mexico revealed the death toll from the 8.1-magnitude earthquake has risen to 65. Thousands of homes were destroyed or damaged.

A report claims that around 16 million children are in need of support due to the torrential monsoon rains and catastrophic flooding in Nepal, India and Bangladesh.

I was reminded that thousands of desperate migrants are being held in horrific conditions in detention centers across Libya where they are subject to torture, rape, starvation and killing.

In Syria, warring parties continue to perpetrate crimes against civilians, including the use of chemical weapons. Syrian people, including children, remain the primary victims of violence.

How can we pray in times like these?

My heart goes out to women and children around the world who are in need of hope, help, and reassurance from those who can be Christ in the flesh for them.

Lord God Almighty, Ruler of heaven and earth. We seek Your face in this moment.

We are grateful for Your love, Your grace, and Your mercy.

Shine forth into the darkness so that we might find our way to You.

Help our hearts to be softened and impacted by the cares and concerns of others.

Help us not to sit idly by and just watch while others suffer.

Awaken our spirits to the needs of those who are hopeless, helpless, and hurting all throughout the earth.

Let our hearts be broken by the things which break Yours. Lord, I am reminded of the prayer of Saint Francis and like him also cry out to You with these words;

“Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace!

That where there is hatred, I may bring love.

That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness.

That where there is discord, I may bring harmony.

That where there is error, I may bring truth.

That where there is doubt, I may bring faith.

That where there is despair, I may bring hope.

That where there are shadows, I may bring light.

That where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort, than to be comforted.

To understand, than to be understood.

To love, than to be loved.

For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.

It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.

It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.”

Father in Heaven, may our anchors reach upward to grip the solid Rock.

May we exalt Your name each and every day of our lives.

In the mighty name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

May we each do our part to comfort those in our part of the world. For the children, for each other, and for the glory of the Lord.

~If you have a prayer request or would like to offer a prayer kindly leave it in the comments.

Finding Beauty in the Wounds of Adversity

“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.” ― David Richo

My wounds opened the door to writing my first song. Discovering the joy of songwriting at the age of 50 came as a shock. A pleasant shock. I’ve put some of my journal pages into song. But, not all.

Some are too raw and too ugly to turn into melody. But, some stand as a testimony to love, or a way to voice personal grief or to speak out on an issue I feel passionately about. And there are times when I think no one else can understand what I'm going through or what I've been through. In recovery circles this is called "terminal uniqueness".

It's a deadly disease to believe that our problems and situation are beyond anyone else's comprehension.

Despair that comes with believing that our problems are so great that no one else can relate to them can be fatal.

Someone has been there.

Someone has felt that.

Someone has had that experience imprinted on the t-shirt of their soul.

I'm grateful for the times when God reminds me of the wisdom of my elders. This quote is from a conversation I had with my Auntie Martha several years ago:

"A mother's heart is built for adversity."

I'm not able to speak about the heart of a father. But in my heart as a mother I have experienced this adversity being forged into me. The potential for heartache begins with a positive pregnancy test. Doctors try to pinpoint the date of conception so that they will have a better understanding of when the child will be born and assess fetal development.

Who can determine the moment that a mother is conceived?

I have come to believe that the

conception of a mother

occurs the instant she becomes aware

of the existence of her child.

For some that comes with a missed period, for some with the first symptoms of pregnancy, for others when the heartbeat is heard or flutters of life are felt within.

I remember going from shock to anxiety when I discovered my first child was on the way. I learned in that moment that it was suspected to be an ectopic pregnancy only to be told later that the pregnancy was indeed normal but it looked as if I was in the process of a miscarriage. I was sent home for bedrest and the pregnancy proceeded.  

I suffered a tormenting flood of 'what ifs' in my head. What if I'm not a good mother? What if my child has a birth defect? What if my husband loses his job? What if....?

I've learned that for every question
I have God whispers,

"Trust me."

I don't always acknowledge His whispers. Sometimes I’ve treated His voice like a bee dive-bombing near my ear. I want to swipe it away and go back to worrying. I know how to worry.

Peace on the other hand has to be learned and practiced.

As God builds the heart of a mother He places within it a cavern of love to share with each child. He gives us joy over their coos as babies, thrills when they learn to walk, tears when they fall down and run to us with scraped knees, and comfort for when they make choices that don't match up with our hopes and dreams for them.

No mother is ever fully prepared

for that first jolt of adversity.

But, each time her heart is stretched in small ways it begins to grow to the capacity needed.

Just as the womb of each woman enlarges to hold whatever size her baby is, so does the heart expand to handle whatever comes its way.

Mothers feel that expansion of the heart as keenly as a labor pain.

In fact, it feels more like a crack in the soul when reality falls short of dreams and expectations.

I wonder what Mary felt as she pondered
all of the experiences of Christ's life
as she watched him hang on the cross?

Did she look on his wounds and cry out to God with her questions?

She's a mother who reminds me that I have no control over the life altering situations that my children may have to face. God gave her only of glimpse of what her child was destined for but He didn't give her the full printout of His life.

As my oldest child inches toward 30 I have pondered many memories of what was. And as my youngest and his wife await the birth of their second child my heart expands with thoughts of what might be. The reality of now compels me to accept what is.

The stillbirths and miscarriage I’ve endured gave me a deep sense of compassion for my mother's heartache when my younger brother died. I had months of memories while she had decades to look back on.

I am challenged with the task to 'woman up' and face whatever God allows in my life so that I can grow into the person he wants me to be.

Instead of perseverating on dark thoughts I must surrender them to the light of Christ. I must let go and lean into His embrace.  All the broken bits and pieces of my life, each fragment, when placed at the feet of Christ will come together as a whole.

At the beginning of this year my desire was to bring hope and healing to the hurting. I understand that it starts with me.

I cannot offer what I do not have to give.

I cannot be strong for someone else if I am weak. I cannot offer peace to someone when I am staggering down the road of uncertainty.

I’ve found a hope this year that serves as an anchor to my soul. I’ve found the path to healing that I'm slowly treading down. I found the hurts of the past have molded and shaped my life and brought about much needed empathy and compassion.

There are still some open wounds that are slow to close. There are still a few areas of my life that are not yet ready to be offered up for public consumption. But, I’m seeing many things in a new light. I’m seeing beauty at this point in the journey. I remember when I was running the End of the World Half Marathon a few years ago. There were a few places along the route that offered up breathtaking views of the Caribbean. There were birds to see and butterflies and gorgeous homes along the way. But, it was still a 13.1 mile race. It was not a sprint.

Life is not a sprint.

And it is the beauty of God's grace that gives us marvels and wonders along the path of life. And for His grace and His ability to use our wounds to open up beautiful spaces in our lives...I am indeed grateful!

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When It Hurts to Hope

What do you do when it hurts too much to hope? When you feel tired, broken, and empty?

The psalmist in Psalm 42 has an answer for a soul that is bent over by the weight of the world…praise.

Praise?

Seriously?

How do you give praise when you’re ready to declare emotional, physical, and spiritual bankruptcy? As a worship leader who is at this very moment battling with fatigue in all aspects of life I’m wondering how do I lead others to a place I’m struggling to reach?

Last year I wrote my first Christmas song and the opening line is, “Hope was born in a manger”. Hope is not something we can manufacture on our own. Hope was birthed through God’s choice to sacrifice His Son to redeem a broken world. Our true hope is found in the arms of the God of Hope.

When you’re too tired to pray, too broken to believe it will get better, and too empty to hold on to hope, don’t give up on God, simply acknowledge where you are in this moment. In this moment I cannot pretend to have it all together. I am clinging to words of hope I’ve read in His word. I know that God is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). I acknowledge my brokenness. I know that God desires to give me rest from the burdens I have been carrying (Matthew 11:28). I acknowledge my need for rest. I know that God is already aware of how much I need Him. So like the psalmist I acknowledge my emptiness. (Psalm 42:1-3)

Many years ago I heard that if your body doesn’t get enough to drink it can send mixed signals to the brain. You might think you’re hungry when you’re actually thirsty. So it is in times of brokenness. When we are overwhelmed with life we think we need to shut out the world, including God. We have a desperate longing for hope but we look for it in things that don’t completely satisfy the true need. Meditating on the negative day after day and night after night…eating tears for food as the psalmist confessed in Psalm 42:3 is draining. We need a way to break out of the cycle of despair.  If you’re hungry for Hope take a drink of Living Water. Call out to God, spend time in His word, push through what you think you need, and partake of what you really need.

As I climb out of the pit I’ve found myself in, I’m using these five tips to praise my way back to Him:

1. Listen to praise music
2. Make a list of God’s characteristics
3. Read scriptures that relate to hope
4. Journal
5. Make a gratitude list

I’m not advocating that you ignore your feelings. I work as a counselor and regularly encourage people to feel their feelings and work through their issues. I’m acknowledging that for myself, the way out of brokenness is to spend time in His presence, the way out of tiredness is to find rest in Him, and the way out of emptiness is to fill up on Him. He lives within the praises of His people. Praise Him for Who He is and thank Him for what He has done in the past and ask Him for restoration of the soul.  I know that the God of Hope hears our prayers. And that knowledge is fanning the flame of hope in my heart right now!