3 Goals for 2018

Wonder Woman inspired me when we were together over the holidays! 

She ran down the hill singing at the top of her lungs, "And no one knows how far it goes!"

We hunted butterflies, searched for tigers, and avoided the 'pokey' weeds as we played in the park before her bedtime. 

Watching her imagination at work flooded my spirit with joy. 

I am beyond grateful for her influence in my life.

Confidence, determination, and a strong spirit of adventure all wrapped up in a two year old frame. 

I listened to her declarations of what she can do and then watched her show me that she could do it. She has an inner strength that many women I know would envy...starting with me!

Time spent with her confirmed the word God gave me for 2018:

'Courage.'

Courage in Hebrew is 'Chazak'. Which means 'to be strong'. 

The verse that is guiding me this year is Ezra 10:4 and includes three imperatives: 

1. Get Up
2. Be Strong (chazak)
3. Take Action

Meditating on those three statements convicts me to take them on as goals for the year. 

I have new music I've written that needs to be recorded. I have new goals that I've set as I seek to learn and grow this year. I have new responsibilities to live up to. In each instance I must Get Up, Be Strong, and Take Action. 

My little Wonder Woman didn't care who was watching when she ran down the hill singing, she was doing what she felt compelled to do. And I'm grateful to have learned that lesson from her. 

Strong women boldly follow their God-given instincts.


Do you have a word or phrase inspiring your goals for this year? If so I'd love to hear it!


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Word of the Week: Inventory

As 2017 closes:

I look back to evaluate the Connections of this year.

I look forward to what I hear God speaking for 2018.

And I look around to enjoy the present moment.

Eliana's bouncing curls as she laughs.

Raphael’s grunts and sweet new baby smell.

Daily chats with Spencer and Meesha.

Playing with our granddaughter,

snuggling with our newly born grandson,

reconnecting with our son and daughter-in-love.

Priceless precious moments.

Joy filled connections.

Treasures to ponder!

Life was good this past year,

life promises good for next year,

and life is good in this very moment!

This video is from 2015 and yet the three simple questions are timeless.

I pray that you can use them, as I have,

to take inventory on your year in preparation for 2018!

Word of the Week: LOVE

Love: A complex word comprised of four letters.

The second week of Advent is about LOVE.

Today, December 13, 2017, my husband and I celebrate 36 years of marriage.

As we spend our day traveling I can rest by his side and enjoy our time away together. The past few weeks were a chaotic whirlwind for us. I’d been rehearsing for our Belizean Christmas concert, preparing for speaking engagements, working in the counseling office, and promoting the concert on radio and tv. Between early morning commitments and late night practices I noticed it was getting hard to spend time soaking in God’s loving presence.

As the day of the concert drew near I felt like I was running on empty. With tear stained eyes I reached for my keys to head out the door once again. I stopped to cry for a moment on Tom’s shoulder. My body was wracked with pain as I stood there telling him how tired I was. He comforted me with soothing, understanding, and encouraging words. And then he sent me out the door with the emotional strength to do the next thing on my long list of to-do’s.

I’m grateful for those occasions when I can see, feel, and hear the loving voice of God speaking through my caring husband.

I’m grateful that though my husband's love in action I have seen God's unfailing love each and every day.

I’m grateful that Christ came to earth in human form to reveal to us what real love is.

I’m grateful for this Advent season, for this time of solitude, and for the depth of prayer that Jesus continually offers on our behalf before the Father.

It is so easy to get caught up in the busyness of ‘doing’ that we can miss out on ‘being’.

Slow down, lean in, and listen for His loving voice. That’s what I’m doing today...won’t you join me?! I wrote this song during a time of leaning in closely to listen to His voice.

Watch, sing along, and share it with someone who needs to take time out to seek God and worship Him!

Eyes of Compassion

Head tilted back with sunglasses balanced on his upper lip appeared to be a new game he’d just discovered.

A nudge and a sharp look from his sister and immediately he put the glasses back in their proper place.

He couldn’t have been much older than four. Running to catch up to their mother, whose eyes were also hidden behind dark glasses, they slipped into an office.

It wasn’t long before they were escorted back outside and told to wait. Their deception was unacceptable. Those with pink eye will not be attended to.

My stomach sank. There were two empty seats beside me.

The mother took one and the girl pulled her brother onto her lap and took the seat closest to me. I reached for my hand sanitizer as the red-tainted eyes of the little boy followed my every move.

One by one the security guard questioned each person in the crowd wearing sunglasses. He made it clear that anyone with pink eye should leave now and not come back until their eyes were clear.

My attention went back to the red-eyed boy. I saw his pain and his sadness. I sanitized my hands again, smiled politely, and went back to reading my book.

I’m against public shaming and should have felt some degree of empathy for them. But with the thousands of cases of pink eye here in Belize my compassion has worn thin and I felt angry that the mother put everyone around her at risk.

My mantra has been “keep your hands clean and don’t touch your eyes”. So far I’ve been successful in avoiding this modern day plague.

I long to be like Christ and look at others with eyes of compassion. But, some days are harder than others. And I have to confess that day was hard. A five hour wait at a government office drained all the compassion out of me.

Before the pink eye family sat down near me I was wedged in between my sleeping husband on the right and an American woman who was talking loudly while clearing her throat of phlegm every third sentence on my left. Behind me was a Spanish speaking gentleman who kept bumping my chair. Each time we go to the Immigration Department it’s a lesson in endurance, humility, and patience.

I’m grateful that God’s love is unfailing, that His grace is sufficient in my times of weakness, and that His mercies are new each morning.

I’m grateful that no matter what illness, bad attitude, or frustrating situation I find myself in, God’s compassion is still available for me.

And just as I used sanitizer to cleanse my hands from germs, I can confess my sins, be made clean, and find peace in His presence once again.

Love Where God Lives

Lord, I love the house where you live, the place where your glory dwells.

Psalm 26:8 NIV

Where does God live? As a believer He lives in you!

The church is not a building. The church is His people.

Embrace and love the places where His glory lives. Allow the Holy Spirit to have room in your heart. Let Him take over your life. You won’t regret a life lived wholeheartedly for Him.

Live with intention.

Live with vigilance.

Live with hope.

Live with peace.

Live with the knowledge that He lives in you!

I spent years wondering if I looked good enough, if I was smart enough, and if I was strong enough to serve Him. Years wasted being fearful, aimless, and filled with doubt.

I didn’t see myself the way God sees me. I knew He loved me but I didn’t always love me. So I questioned His love for me because I couldn’t see my own worth.

I grew up in the era where we sang hymns about being lowly and was taught not to think too highly of myself.

As I was studying Psalms earlier this year I saw this passage and it finally clicked that the house where God dwells is me!

I need to love how God designed me and utilize each one of the gifts and talents He gave me, all for His glory.

He equips His house, He fills His house, and He makes His house a home.

That is my deep desire for myself and for you! Let God move into His house full time. Not just on Sundays, not just when you feel good, but each and everyday!

And remember He is not just in you but He is in your brothers and sisters in Christ. Respect and love them too!

Value them as you value yourself in God. "Why gaze with envy at the mountain where God chooses to live," like it says in Psalms 68:16.

Encourage those living for Him. Champion them instead of comparing, competing, or criticizing.

May this be our prayer:

Precious Yahweh,

May we remember that we are Your dwelling place. We are Your sanctuary. You live in our praises. You make a home in our hearts. Our bodies are not our own but they are temples dedicated to reflecting Your glory. We trust You to equip us and empower us to serve You. May we begin today to live lives that are worthy of our calling in Christ Jesus. May we live to honor You. And may we love the house where Your glory dwells!

Amen.

Word for the Week: Celebrate!

We can never see the sunrise

by looking toward the west.

Japanese Proverb

With all that is happening in the world it may be difficult to find reasons to celebrate. We need the sunrise to remind us of hope. And it is hope that gives us a reason to rejoice.

Belize received its independence on September 21, 1981. However, the celebrations and decorations begin as soon as the calendar changes from August to September.

Seven years ago we arrived in Belize on September 6th to witness the country of Belize already decked out and decorated in red, white, and blue in anticipation of the holidays to come.

We have been present for Independence Day in several different countries. And the one thing that is uniquely Belizean from my perspective is that Belize doesn’t wait until the day of celebration to start celebrating. And it made me think that we shouldn’t wait for a reason to celebrate either!

Why celebrate?

Because of LIFE:

Life is short. Each breath, each moment, and each heartbeat is a cause for celebration!

Everyone will experience ups and downs in life but the more you praise, give thanks, and rejoice in spite of your circumstances the more you will find to praise, give thanks, and rejoice over!

The Word gave life to everything that was created,

and His life brought light to everyone.

John 1:4

This life is filled with enough Light for everyone. But, if you’re not looking for it you will miss out! The sun rises in the east not the west. Turn your head the other direction and look to Him for reasons to celebrate the life you are living in this moment.

Ponder the path of your feet. Are they leading you toward or away from the Light? It’s never too late to turn around and run the other way and begin to celebrate life.

Why celebrate?

Because of LOVE:

Love is priceless. If you find it embrace it, cherish it, nurture it. Never take love for granted.

Loneliness can be a deadly disease but those who are blessed with loving relationships can survive the harshest of conditions.

Four years ago on September 21st our son married the love of his life and we gained a daughter-in-love. We celebrate their love because it brings joy to our hearts to see two souls in love with God and in love with each other.

Our family has expanded to include a granddaughter and we rejoice each time we see her face or hear her laughter. There is hope, life, joy, and a sense that all is right with the world knitted within the laughter of of a child.  

Who are the loved ones who bring a smile to your lips and joy to your heart? Give God thanks for them right now. Hand write them a letter or speak the words face to face.

Living in another country away from our extended family is hard at times. We’ve missed out on many special occasions large and small over the past 12 years of missionary life.

As I get older I realize that my family in the states has gotten older as well. Tom and I made it a point to express our love and appreciation verbally to my 98 year old grandmother last October. The three of us cried together and spoke words normally reserved for a funeral. I’m grateful that Tom got the ball rolling on that conversation. It is a priceless moment to think back on and cherish.

Why celebrate?

Because of CHRIST!

In Hebrews there is a passage that speaks to me as a reason for celebration and gives a picture of a great celebration to come.

Hebrews 12:1-3 says,

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.

There is a great crowd of witnesses cheering us on! We can endure to the end no matter how long our race is. Christ is our example as He endured the shame and pain of the cross to redeem us from sin. Each time I wonder, “why celebrate?” God whispers in my heart, “what about Me?”.

I pray that you will hear His whispers of the heart and look to Him for a reason to rejoice.

Make a list each day of one reason to be grateful for life, one reason to be grateful for love, and one reason to be grateful for Christ in your life.

Begin today to truly value and celebrate life, love, and our Eternal Source of Hope, Jesus Christ!

3 Shades of Vulnerability in Marriage

Being vulnerable is rarely at the top of my list of things to do today. But, there is no path to intimacy that does not involve vulnerability. Personally, I want to be strong. I want to protect myself from embarrassing situations. I want to look good in the eyes of everyone I come in contact with. And yet not one of those things helps me in my goal to connect with others. Especially not my partner.

Tom and I have been together since we were 16 years old. We’ve spent our entire adult lives together. In our 35 years of marriage and two years of dating we’ve discovered a thing or two about each other along the way. And each discovery came with a new level of vulnerability.

Vulnerability is about intimacy. Intimacy comes with exposing our true self to the other person. Being completely known by one person and still being loved by them is a blessing.

Vulnerability is about integrity. Integrity is when our beliefs, actions, and words all match up. When we are truly honest with ourselves and with our loved ones we honor them with integrity.

Vulnerability is about initiative. Being the first to speak up or act instead of holding back in fear. Being the first to say, “I’m sorry” or “I love you” can be overwhelming but with risk comes the reward of being true to yourself and your feelings.

Not long ago we attended a wedding for a young couple.

I don’t know about you but each time I attend a wedding it takes me back to my own. I didn’t know what I was getting into. We had no idea on that day what life would have in store for us going forward.

I didn’t make a copy of what I wrote in their card but it was something about always remembering to turn toward one another and not away from one another.

Tom and I have had to learn the importance of turning toward one another even when life is difficult.

We had to seek out counsel from others for guidance through those times when we wanted to turn away from one another.

We’ve had to struggle through the times of wanting to turn against one another.

Admitting that there is an issue that demands to be faced can be hard. Counseling seems to be a four letter word in some people’s ears and hearts. Or maybe the dirty word is actually W-O-R-K. Love is not supposed to be work according to Hollywood. According to the movies or romance novels when you fall in love everything in your life is supposed to magically fall into place and your ‘happily ever after’ begins with that first kiss. Well, wouldn’t that be lovely?

The reality is that long-term love requires hard work. Long-term love is golden because it has been forged in the crucible of determination, respect, and commitment. I like seeing young love but I admire and value old love. Old love isn’t phased by moods or circumstances. It knows that like waves on the shore times of adversity are a natural part of the rhythm of life. Dissonance adds depth to music because when the tension creating chords are resolved we find peace and beauty in the song.

Turning towards one another requires us to be connected with one another. Connection means we must be willing to seek out intimacy, value integrity, and take the initiative needed to do whatever is necessary to allow your relationship to grow deeper and sweeter with time. And as you look back over the moments of your life together take time to notice the golden cord of vulnerability and treat it with care day after day and year after year.  

Can Your Toothpaste Transform Your Relationship?

Have you ever woken up, looked at the time, and immediately gotten pissed off? Did you take it out on the first person who crossed your path? Or maybe that's only happened to me?

One morning Tom and I were scheduled to be in Belize City to meet up with people coming in on a cruise ship and we absolutely had to leave the house by 9:30 that morning. Which is why I was frustrated when I saw that it was already 8:45. As the realization set in that I had missed my alarm my anger began simmering. I went from simmering to boiling as I stripped down to jump in the shower only to find gross looking water about an inch deep in the bathtub.

Seriously, God?

Does Tom know the tub is clogged? Where is he?

Wrapped in a towel, holding a plunger with one hand and my towel closed with the other, I tried to unplug the clog to no avail. It simply would not drain fast enough. I grabbed a washcloth, a bar of soap, and turned on the water in the sink and washed off. After cleaning up I got dressed as fast as I could. I made my way out to the living room to see my fully dressed husband sitting there engrossed in whatever was on his iPad. And I lost it. I went off about him not waking me up, the water in the bathtub, and us needing to leave on time. I knew what he was going to say about the pipes and humidity and that just made me even more indignant. He said what I thought he would say and of course I had to fuss some more because I needed the last word.

Stomping off to the bathroom to brush my teeth I felt like a pressure cooker releasing its steam. Grabbing the nearest tube, squeezing hard, my toothbrush was quickly covered with a gooey white substance. Shoving the toothbrush into my mouth, wondering why the paste looked as if it had melted, I silently cursed the humidity here in Belize. As soon as the brush hit my mouth heat began to form on my tongue and in my gums. It wasn’t toothpaste that I grabbed. It was muscle rub. I spit out what I could, grabbed the tube to move it to a safer spot, washed off my toothbrush, found the toothpaste, double checked that it was actually toothpaste, put it on the brush all the while continually spitting out the taste of muscle rub. It was quite a sight I’m sure.

My grandmother would call that a whooping from God. And I knew right away I deserved it.

Proverbs 13:3 reminds me that, “Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.”

That happened back in January during a 21 day period of fasting and seeking God’s plan for the new year. At the end of each year I pray for a word that will guide my thoughts and goals for the new year. I had been given the word Connection for 2017. As the new year dawned I was reading through the Psalms and was inspired to write a few songs. I knew that I was being called to a deeper connection with God, self, and all those I love. And yet 5 days into 2017 I blew it with my words.

I cried out to God in prayer, Lord, I don’t want to be like those who sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their bitter words like arrows. (Psalms 64:3) Help me not to let my tongue sting like a snake; with the venom of a viper dripping from my lips. (Psalms 140:3) Help me to always remember that the tongue can bring death or life and that I will reap the consequences of the negative or positive words that I use. (Proverbs 18:21)

As I write this I can laugh at myself, grateful for that humbling lesson, I realize that I have a muscular organ that needs to “relax”. The tongue is one of the most powerful muscles in the body and it is impossible to tame it on my own. My words and my attitude were critical, caustic, and careless. I had failed that morning because I neglected to connect with God, my husband, or myself. I allowed anger at myself for missing the alarm to ignite a fire that led to using an unloving tone with someone I dearly love. Fortunately, we had an hour long drive together on the way to Belize so I was able to confess my frustration and ask for forgiveness. I know that Tom does not like waking anyone up. He had set a time limit and was going to wake me at 9. He knows how quickly I can get ready and decided to wait and let me sleep. He knows how important sleep is to me due to my fibromyalgia. My muscles are always tense and sleep helps them to relax. He’s on my team and is not against me. I know that.

This year of connection has led to many lessons, large and small. I cannot connect with others through my arrogance, self-righteousness, or pride. I must take a deep breath and count the cost of my words before I speak. Making connections takes humility. Making connections takes vulnerability. Making connections also takes courage. Connecting with my husband means turning toward Tom in love rather than turning away in times of frustration. I'm still a work in progress. But, I pray that my lesson in the taming of the tongue will serve as a warning for someone else.

P.S. Don't forget to double check what's going on your toothbrush!